How to Deal with the Things You cannot Control: AimforCent
Human is nothing but an intellectual creature. After the movement of humanism, all human beings think that we are the omnipotent power of the world.
But, we doubt it when we understand there are plenty of things that we cannot control in life. Here, I am dealing with a lesson and suggestions on how we can control those things.
Often we take hasty decision to get rid of a situation which turns into a disaster. So, read it carefully, you can control your fate very easily.
The things you cannot control are-
1. The past of your life.
2. What others think about you.
3. The error that other makes.
And, the things you can control are-
Everything other than that, such as-
1. Your society and some elements of nature around you.
2. Your thoughts, feelings, emotions.
3. Your choice and decision.
4. Others attitude towards you.
5. Your fate.
Why things are beyond our control?
The first thing we have to understand is why things are beyond our control.
A most relevant example is life and death. After, the development of science and technology, we think that we can control those things. But, truth is we cannot. These are the confidence that is necessary for further development.
Our fate, decisions, life, and death are partially in our control but a greater portion tends to depend on our work. You can say it ‘karma’, maybe it is ‘fate’. But no doubt we can influence it partially. And there are many things that we can influence more and then we say it as ‘our control’.
So, you can understand that there is nothing that we cannot influence. Definitely, we can influence it with our hard work, even if it is life, death, fate or decision making. But, we cannot control it completely.
Next time when you use ‘we can control’ then please think before saying that because your ‘control’ maybe your ‘influence’ and that may not be happened according to your wish.
Various reasons why things are beyond our control-
There are various reasons for which we cannot control many things around us. I am here giving you a brief outline of those things so that you can understand and focus on these things in your life.
See, on the one hand, you are influencing something , on the other hand, there are many things which influence you and you feel that. You cannot make every decision for your own sake, sometimes you have to take decisions which will not be in your favor.
But if we can reduce this influence on us, then? Can we do it? Can I control our society alone?
The answer is yes and no both. Actually, it depends on you. Your urge for success. You can definitely influence whole society alone but for this you may have to wait a long time and you need proper planning to tackle the odds of society.
Actually, society is a culture that is created by people like us. And we are bound to obey this society. Otherwise, we will be ‘unsocial’.
But, we definitely can change our society; we need a strong belief and hard work.
So, the reasons for which we cannot control things are given below-
- Lack of proper planning
This is the main reason for which we cannot control our fate. Consciously or unconsciously we take wrong decisions. We don’t have proper planning to do something successfully.
Most of the time, we plan it on probability not on reality. And when reality hits us we are making excuse by saying we cannot control these things.
But is this true? Is there anything that is beyond our control? More or less we can control/influence all things. But, the influence is so less that it seems we are losing control of our fate. Then, we are blaming our fate and balming our wounds.
- Depends on other people
Especially love relationship and marriage life, it depends on your partner. If your partner is not so cooperative and has other issues then you can not do much to solve it. These are the typical problem that you cannot control but you can control it by observing and solving these issues before your marriage or relationship.
- Depends on society
Most of the time society and its norms play a vital role to make our decision. I want to be a socially well established and well-known person. Yes, everybody wants it.
Then, you have to ensure that you have to control the society, it’s difficult but easy enough if you have progressive logic for society. Then, society will obey you. You can solve it or rather control it in various ways. I’ll discuss it later.
- Pessimistic mindset and lack of energy
These are the cause of almost every downfall. It can harm you in various ways. You know this, so I am not discussing it in detail.
What are the things we cannot control?
Yes, I agree sometimes we could not control it but if someone like us is spreading the rumor and we can change him/her, then?
Actually, there is nothing that we cannot control. We can control it more or less. For example, any issue of society maybe some rumors. Most of us think we cannot control it.
Now the question comes how can I change? Actually, it should have a mass significance. If society could analyze before spreading it, then we can solve this problem. Social media have a vital role to turn this issue in new directions.
We need to think before spreading such rumors.
The second issue is luck. We cannot control our luck. But, luck is depending on our thought. Even, the thinking that we cannot control our luck has a deep impact on your performance. What you think now, will be your destiny in future.
Let’s use the word thought instead of luck. Now, can we control our thought? Yes, definitely. Then, first change your thoughts and then find out luck is favoring you or not.
Who controls our fate?
Definitely, we control our fate. Sometimes, our society and circumstances also help us to form our lives. In popular terms, fate is a combination of hard work and mindset. Actually, it’s true. So to control fate we need to control our mind like what I have said earlier.
How can I control our fate?
What is visible in a person is not only about the look, personality, financial establishment, smartness, etc. but also about the invisible emotions and feelings in heart we observe in a person in the way we want us to observe and obviously some inner invisible things reveal when we can’t control them.
Beautiful things are not always seen or heard or touched but sometimes felt. It can be the feelings of a lover, the feelings of a ‘newborn mother’ or the feelings of two lost friends are finally together.
Whatever it may be, but we should be thankful to Him that among all the existing living beings of the earth, only humans have the capability of keeping emotions in the heart.
Emotions such as joy, trust, love, sorrow, surprise, affection, kindness can weaken our hearts but they are easy to be controlled and that’s why they are less harmful.
On the other hand emotions such as anger, fear, disgust, greed, frustrations, etc are more harmful which can lead a person to the destruction of his\her existence and they are not easily controlled until we have a strong resistance and determination power.
1. Discussion and right decision
Discuss with your partner in any complex issues that you are facing. It helps to make the right decision. Sometimes you lose your motivation and mindset and turns into a mere disaster. Through discussion, you can merge two or more mindsets in a single result and that will be beneficial for you.
You need it especially when you deal with society. You need to know the emotions and motif of the society otherwise you cannot convince them logically. If you don’t have much experience, you should take help of an experienced person to promote your thoughts logically. So that you can control society to some extent.
Again, experience also helps you to take the right decision. The right decision helps to be successful in your life. And you will be successful when you have control over yourself. So, take your decision firmly and wisely.
3. A healthy mind and body
I have already discussed in this article the essentiality of a healthy mind or mindset.
For a healthy body, you know the necessity of having it. Health is wealth, a popular proverb. So for me it’s all about controlling and balancing your mind and body to lead a healthy and happy life.
4. Stick around till the end
Never giving up is the most powerful characteristic of human beings. You should not give up if you have a minimum chance of getting success. Definitely, you need to work in a proper way.
If you work in the wrong direction, then result will never come automatically in your favor in that case, your patience is worthless. So I am using the phrase ‘a minimum Chance’. If you have a certain percentage of chance then you are ok to go. Otherwise, recheck and replan and act wisely.
5. Positive thinking
Now, I have mentioned it as the last point. You need to have two types of positive thinking and remember one is useless without the other one. Those two types are positive thinking for you and positive thinking for society.
If you want to control your circumstances then you should think about your circumstances or society. I know, society and circumstances are too broad terms but here I mean everything around you. You need to send positive vibes like a mother to her child.
And the secret is most of the people cannot do these, so they are saying you cannot control things around you.
Here, I have discussed it in detail as far as I could. I want to enrich myself with your precious views and thoughts. If you have any other suggestions to control the things around you?
“control your thoughts to control the universe.”